Is there a “the One” for me?
This is a question we have all asked or wondered about. So much has been said about this that it sometimes scares me when I hear what people are saying regarding finding “the One”. Believe me, I am not innocent, I have made the same mistakes. We need to understand that the songs we listen to and the movies we watch and the books we read play a huge role here. Why? Because it shapes your framework as you spend more and more time in it. What we get to read, hear or see is unfortunately not always the truth or the real reality.
I had my dream man in my dreams and my “man crush” too. I had lists of everything I was looking for in “The One”. Funny enough, I did find the “dream man” a.k.a “The One”, or so I thought. To my disappointment, my dreams were always better than the reality. My lists also came and went as well because I had to learn the hard way that what I want (which has been so perfect on my lists) and what I really need in a life partner is not the same. I took what I wanted but it never brought fulfillment, only hurt. Not only did I just know what I needed, but I also had to learn what it is and why. I made quite a few mistakes before I realized it, I hope I can help save you a few mistakes, heartbreak, and disappointment.
So, to help you; get the whole “The One” thing out of your head. Here’s another way to look at it. Let’s call it a different perspective. The Lord is going to send different kinds of people across your path in different seasons of your life. He has given you a free will to be able to choose what you want. Your responsibility is to ask Him for wisdom, insight, and discernment when making your decision. He will show you where the open doors are and where the closed doors are and even sometimes allow you to go through with it so that you may learn what you have to. You can feel it very clearly when something is right or wrong if you are very honest with yourself.
Sit down and think about what qualities you are looking for in a life partner. Also, ask yourself why you have every quality on your list, what is each one’s reason and why is this important to you? Discuss this with someone older and wiser than you. Preferably someone who has a happy marriage and their opinion. Eat the fish and spit out the bones of what they say. Learn from them. Ask lots of questions. Don’t be ashamed to ask questions, you need to investigate so you can learn. Sitting around and is very unrealistic and waiting for “the one” to arrive on your doorstep. This is not being pro-active. You will have to open your heart and take a chance on love, in a Godly responsible way. Make sure your qualities are realistic. I challenge you to ask the Lord that He will show you what you need.
If you cannot live with it now to be single, you will not be able to live with someone else, because it becomes a challenge. Getting married is not a joke. And its not always easy. The dynamics of relationship are not always easy. It’s constant work. When you move into a relationship you are going to see how selfish you really are, because then it is not just about you anymore.
To summarize it up, sit down and think carefully about what you want and achieve in life. Pray about it if you feel that way. Choose your life partner according to the calling on your life. The person who is going to help you be the man or woman you are called to be. Not someone who will hold you back. Learn to say no to the wrong people now. Look for someone who will love you just as you are. Someone who will love you even when you don’t deserve it. Someone who will show you, Jesus. But before you choose that person dear person. Just make sure you bring the same thing you expect from this other person to the table as well. Be ready to be the ” the right one” and live your best life now. You will then see, it’s just a matter of time when that someone special will cross your path and fall in love with the life you love so much already.
I leave you with a quote that I heard and made it a bit of my own. These words have made a huge impact on my life:
“Choose your love, and then, then you love your choice. But when you choose, choose wisely. ”